The Alexandria Archives – Podcast Review

Pop in your earbuds and crank it up to 11, readers, because today we’re reviewing our first podcast – The Alexandria Archives, written & produced by Nicole Jorge, Aaron Redacted, and Uri Sacharow.

Self-billed as “The South’s answer to Miskatonic University”, the Alexandria Archives is a weekly podcast done in the form of a midnight radio show broadcast from the fictional Alexandria University – home of the Wendigos – and hosted by Morning Wood (voice of co-creator Nicole Jorge). Each episode begins with Morning Wood taking a few callers (all with their own special brand of crazy) or having a special guest in the studio.

(My personal favorite of these callers is a semi-regular named Gore. I won’t tell you why he’s my favorite, but luckily for you, he shows up in the very first episode.)

After taking a few callers, Morning Wood introduces a tale from the Alexandria Archives themselves – each ranging from the spookily macabre to the disturbingly macabre. (I’m side-eyeing you, episode 2.) While some of the stories from the Archives are better than others, the podcast overall is definitely worth hitting the Subscribe button.

If you’re a fan of horror podcasts such as Welcome to Night Vale, Lore, Limetown, or The Black Tapes, or are a fan of H.P. Lovecraft (ESPECIALLY The Re-Animator), then this one’s for you.

Final rating: 4 Sporks

You can find the Alexandria Archives online at http://www.alexandriaarchives.com, follow it on Twitter at @whausignal and @Whaumorningwood, and subscribe on on ITunes and in the Google Play store.

Ia, Ia, Wendigos!

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Author Interview – Brooks Benjamin

Hello readers!

Today we have a special interview with Brooks Benjamin, author of My Seventh-Grade Life in Tights.

The Spork Review: Why write for middle-graders?

Brooks Benjamin: The twelve year old in me won’t let me write anything else. Maybe it’s because because he knows that age is such an important time in our lives–it’s when we begin to figure out stuff like who we’re going to be, who we’re going to like, what we’re going to enjoy, fear, and need. Or maybe it’s because he knows it’s the perfect mixture of being a kid and becoming a young adult that makes that age a wonderfully delicious emotional and behavioral soup. Or maybe it’s because he’s an immature little turd that won’t let go of the fact that he still giggles over fart jokes sometimes.

TSR: The main theme of My 7th Grade Life in Tights is “Find the moves that fit.” Why do you feel that it was important to tell Dillon’s story?

BB: Middle school is a jungle we’ve all explored but will always remain unconquered by human beings. There’s an air of incivility that surrounds it which makes those three years some of the worst years in many people’s lives. It wasn’t any different for me. I had an idea of who I wanted to be but was so scared to allow myself to become that person. So I wanted to write something that spoke to that and to any human who has ever felt that way. I wanted to tell every one of them that it’s fine to be scared and it’s fine to be worried but it’s not fine to let others tell you who or what you should be. “Find the moves that fit” is my dancetastic way of sharing that no matter who you are, there’s a style out there for you, even if you have to make it all up yourself.

TSR: Tell us a bit about your writing process.

It always starts with interesting characters. I hear them say something, I see them do something, I imagine their reaction to something. They’re nothing more than an idea at this point, but while I begin to throw out problems and stories and allow them to speak to it and about it, I learn who they are and who they want to be. Their personalities grow and deepen and the rose-colored glasses come off when I see their flaws. But they become very real to me after that. As I begin to write out their stories, there’s always a fear that I’m getting it wrong, but they always let me know if I am. And as their story progresses, I continue to learn things about them. There’s never a time when I know it all. The difference is that by the time that particular story is finished, I’ve grown to love each of them and appreciate their quirks, their worries, their problems, and their needs, about as much as I can appreciate my own.

TSR: Where is your favorite place to write?

My desk beside the big window that overlooks the woods. And when it’s raining outside I love it even more.

TSR: Can you tell us about what you are working on now?

BB: Sure! I’m working on another MG. This one’s about two friends, one who is very real and is trying to find a way to disappear and one who isn’t quite real and is trying to keep from vanishing altogether.

Lighting Round:

TSR: Favorite NKotB song?

BB: HANGIN’ TOUGH!

TSR: Favorite thing to do to relax?

BB: Play video games while eating pizza.

TSR: Salty or sweet?

BB: You mean salty AND sweet? Yes.
TSR: What is one thing you never leave home without?

BB: My underwear. If I ever have to sacrifice my pants to save someone’s life I want to do it with some dignity.

TSR: Any hidden talents?

BB: I can impersonate a ton of actors or characters from cartoons. When I was a kid, I wanted so badly to be someone else that I tried on different characters all the time. The result was a talent for sounding like, but never being anyone else but me. And that’s pretty cool, I think.

Thanks so much to Brooks for answering some questions for us! Your new book sounds great – I can’t wait to read it!

Radio Silence

In August of 2016, South Louisiana was devastated by an epic flood.  My house was one of the many that was affected, receiving between 2 1/2 & 3 feet of water.

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My cousins and I waded in to try to salvage some items.

 

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This was taken after the water had (mostly) receded to show the waterline.

4 long months later, I’m finally home!

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My bed has never looked so comfy.

Anyway, this is the reason for the lack of reviews lately.

For being so patient, the next post will be an author interview with Brooks Benjamin, author of My Seventh Grade Life in Tights!

Stay tuned!

My Seventh-Grade Life in Tights by Brooks Benjamin – Book Review

​Buenos Dias from sunny Progreso, Mexico, folks!

As part of my amazing job, I get the pleasure and privilege of selecting middle grade & young adult books to be featured at the Louisiana Book Festival every year. This past January,  while researching recently published and upcoming books for the 2016 LBF, I ran across a book called My Seventh Grade Life in Tights by Brooks Benjamin. Intrigued by the description, I added it to my list of books to check out.

A wonderful, moving story about being true to yourself, My Seventh Grade Life in Tights is about a boy named Dillon who is part of a dance crew called the Dizzee Freeks.  Unlike his two friends in his crew who have been classically trained in dance, Dilion has had no formal training. His dance style is what’s known among his friends as ‘ninja freestyle’, featuring a series of kicks and punches. (I can’t help but imagine he looks a bit like he’s having a seizure when he dances.)  Dillon is desperate to learn how to ‘properly’ dance so he discovers an opportunity to earn a scholarship to a prestigious dance academy. There’s just one small hitch – dance studios are for sell-outs, at least, according to the rest of his crew.  

Through an ingenious plan (cause you know those always work), Dillon’s crew hatches a plan for Dillon to try out for the scholarship, win, then tell the studio to stick their scholarship where the sun doesn’t shine.

Well you know that’s going to go off without a hitch, right? 😉

Very well-written and perfectly paced, My Seventh Grade Life in Tights  is an encouraging story about ‘finding the moves that fit’.  With a diverse set of characters (yay for diversity!), all with their own struggles and issues, this book will dance its way into the hearts of both kids and adults alike.

Final rating: 5 Sporks

PS: Stay tuned for another author interview!

Deadpool – Review

Greetings from onboard the beautiful Carnival Triumph, readers! By the time you read this I’ll be back in the US, but I’m currently on a much-needed cruise vacation to Cozumel & Progreso, Mexico.  It’s a beautifully warm evening out on the Lido deck, with  Avengers: Age of Ultron  just having wrapped up and X-Men: Apocalypse starting in about 45 minutes – just enough time to grab a drink and settle myself into a chair to write a quick review.

Today’s review was originally going to be about Doctor Strange, which I saw in theaters a few weeks ago, but last night I saw Deadpool for the first time at the Seaside Theater on the Lido deck of the ship, and I can’t not talk about this movie.  I know, I know, I’ve been living under a rock if I hadn’t seen Deadpool until now, but in my defense, I did buy it on Black Friday with the full intention of watching it as soon as it came in.

Firstly, the opening credits – best. Opening. Credits. EVER. In lieu of traditional credits that list the director, actors, producers, writers, etc, the credits are completely smart-assy. Starring “God’s Perfect Idiot”, “A Hot Chick”, and “A British Villain”, Produced by “Asshats”, and written by “The Real Heroes Here” are just a few examples from the hilarious opening credits. It really sets the tone of the film.

The film opens with Deadpool, played by Ryan Reynolds reprising his role from X-Men Origins: Wolverine, in a taxi on his way to confront a man named Francis.  After a (really quite awesome) fight scene, Deadpool stops the film in order to give us his origin story.

Just when things are going right in his life, mercenary Wade Wilson finds out he has stage 4, untreatable cancer.  In desperation, he agrees to become part of an experiment in order to unlock his recessive mutant genes to give him superpowers, in turn curing his cancer and allowing him to live his life with his fiancee’ (played by Morena Baccarin).

We find out later that unlike in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Deadpool wasn’t created as a government experiment – the facility that was creating mutants was selling the newly-created mutants to the highest unscrupulous bidder, essentially selling them into slavery. After being mutated, which leaves him horribly disfigured, then getting told the entire nefarious plan by Francis – who goes by Ajax – Wade manages to escape and spends the next year tracking Francis’ entire organization, which leads up to the big showdown finale.

There’s a cameo from Colossus and another X-men trainee I’ve honestly never heard of, a ton of fourth-wall breaking, with Deadpool talking directly to the audience, making in-jokes and references to other Marvel films, and even making a joke about the atrociousness that was The Green Lantern. (I’m glad Reynolds is able to laugh about it now, ‘cause no one was laughing during The Green Lantern.)

The nudity is gratuitous – we’re given more than just a glimpse of Ryan Reynold’s spectacularly sculpted rear, along with female frontal nudity, multiple sex scenes, more F-bombs than I was able to count, and a fair share of adult jokes.

Deadpool definitely earns its R rating – this isn’t your teenage cousin’s Marvel superhero movie, but it’s done well, which proves that Marvel definitely can release edgier films.

Final rating: 4 sporks

Author Interview – Jeff Zentner

In celebration of Jeff Zentner’s upcoming book Goodbye Days getting its first major review (and a starred one at that – as if there was any doubt!) we have a special treat – Jeff has agreed to answer a few questions for us!

Continue reading “Author Interview – Jeff Zentner”

Slither (2006) – Movie Review

​At a friend’s suggestion, I recently watched 2006’s Slither, starring Nathan Fillion, Elizabeth Banks, and Michael Rooker. I’d never heard of Slither until my friend had suggested it (although I really like Nathan Fillion), so before viewing I thought it was about snakes or something.

I was wrong.

Basically Critters meets Alien meets Night of the Living Dead, Slither is about a small town that gets taken over by aliens. It all starts when Grant Grant (Rooker) runs across a meteorite that has landed in the woods.  (And yes, the character’s name is actually Grant Grant. His parents were either lazy or cruel.) Because curiosity killed the cat (and in this case also the dog, the cow, the deer, the sheep, etc.) he decides to check out the hatched egg-looking meteorite and gets jabbed in the chest by a barb and taken over by an alien parasite, eventually turning him into King Koopa from the Super Mario Bros movie. (Seriously, that’s what he reminded me of toward the end there.) He ‘infects’ a woman that he had run into at a bar the night he was taken over and basically turns her into a giant slug-like alien baby factory.  The alien slug babies start to infect the townsfolk by squirming their way into their mouths, taking over their brains and turning them into zombie-like creatures – leaving only Grant’s wife, Starla (Banks), Police Chief Bill Pardy (Fillion), and a teenage townie named Kylie to battle the collective – because apparently they all have Grant’s memories, so if you kill the Grant monster, the rest of them will follow suit. The big climactic scene had some sort of weird assimilation/orgy thing going on, so that plot point actually did kind of made sense rather than feeling like a cop-out.

There were a few points thoughout where I had to go, “REALLY? Come on, now!” but otherwise it was highly entertaining with just the right amount of ‘ew’/creep factor.

Final rating: 4 Sporks

Any thoughts? Sound off in the comments below!